Going

 Sadness in my soul

A deep abiding sadness

Where it comes from

I don’t know

It just appears

And is

Fills me to the brim

And spills out of my eyes

Running rivers down my face

Grips my heart

And squeezes

Making it a rock inside my chest

Drains it of life

I fight it

But it is a strong opponent

One that knows me well

Can push my triggers

Prod and

Poke and

Pry

Till the core is exposed

Fractured and damaged

Sharp edges

That hurt

With each prod

And poke

And pry

Till all is dark

And black

And grim

Empty

The joy is gone

The sense of self is cowering in the shadows

Waiting to be noticed

Wanting to be gone

But it doesn’t know where

So it cowers

And sulks

Remembering all the words it’s heard

Not good enough

Not smart enough

Never pretty enough

Never enough

It shrinks some more

Hangs its head

Wants to give in

Give up

Be gone

Where no comparisons can be made

Where no judgment sits

Where all is cold

And black

And quiet

Curl up

Disappear into the shadows

And

Be gone

Blue

Where does this sadness come from
That is welling up inside
And keeps spilling from my eyes
I am all alone
Here in my bed
No one here to see
The sadness
Pouring out of me

The night is not my friend
It reminds me
How alone I am
Here in my bed
Alone with my thoughts
And my sadness
My memories
And regrets

Soon I will be more alone than ever
An orphan
With no parents
Unconditional love
To comfort me
When the world seems too harsh
And I am tired
And blue

I have another love
But she is not here with me
When the night takes hold
And my bed seems
Too big for one
One day she will be
Lying next to me
But not today

Today I am alone
With my sadness
A bottomless well
Of blue
That is consuming me
Drowning all other feelings
I have
Inside

Tomorrow will be the same
No cure for these blues
But time
And friends who care
And remembering
That one day
My love will be here
Next to me

And when she is
The sadness will be
Less
Her arms will wrap around me
And she will hold me
close
While the sadness
Pours out of me

But until that day
I lie here
All alone
With the sadness
Pouring out of me
Keeping me from sleep
Making my heart
Ache

Hurry up
And come to me
My love
Wrap your arms around me soon
I need you
Lying here
Next to me
Holding me close






Mother
I am loosing you
With every day that passes
You fail a little more
You move closer to death
And further away from me

One day soon
You will be gone from me
Your touch out of my reach
Your old weary body
Will have had enough

My heart is already breaking
At the thought of
Loosing you forever
To have to walk upon this earth
Without you

You have been there
In my life
From the moment I was born
Even before
You were giving me my life

And so your time is coming
You have suffered enough
You should not stay
For me
But go for you

My life will still go on
But there will always be
An emptiness in me
Where you had always been
My mother


Someone




Whirlwind

Whirlwind
That’s what you are
Racing around me
Mixing all my thoughts and feelings
Until I cannot think
Of anything but you

Desire
That’s what you are
Stirring things inside my soul
My long forgotten heart
Until I cannot want
Anything but you

Torture
That’s what you are
Making me doubt my sanity
Wanting you so much
But fearing you as well
For what you make me feel

Lust
That’s what you are
I long for your touch
Your taste, your scent
My fingers on your skin
My lips on yours

Love
That’s what you are
My future
My truth
The smile that’s always on my lips
The happiness that’s always in my heart

Mine
That’s what you are
Your dreams and thoughts
Are mine alone to share
Your heart and soul
Belong to me now

Us
That’s what we are
Together
United now as one
Each separate but combined
By love




You

I fell in love with you in an instant
A second
A moment in time
That changed my life forever

My heart was not for the taking
But you took it anyway
My soul was empty
And you filled it

You are with me always now
In every beat of my heart
In every thought that I have
You have filled me

I fell in love with you in an instant
But I will love you until I die
My heart yearns for you
My body aches for you

You have filled me with joy
With hope
You have filled me
With love

You have given me
The strength to feel
Both joy and pain
And longing and desire

Thank you darling
For your love
Your caring
Your heart

I fell in love with you in an instant
A second
A moment in time
That changed my life forever



I want to write a poem

I want to write a poem
On your body
Write the words
I love you
With my tongue
Write the words
I want you
With my fingers

I want to touch your skin
Feel your heart beat
With my fingers
Feel your breath
On my skin
Smell your scent
Taste your sweat
With my tongue

I want to kiss your body
All over
Every hair and pore
Run my tongue over
Every trembling inch
Of flesh
Taste your juices
Savor every drop

I want you to know
How much I love you
How much I long for you
How happy
You make me
Every second of the day
The night
My life

I want to write a poem
On your body
Every night
Every day
Write the words
With my tongue
With my fingers
I love you



Waking

I wake
And feel your arms around me
Warm and loving
I turn to you
And watch you
As you sleep

Each breath
Soft
Your breasts
Rise and fall
Gently
Brushing my arm

I smile
And kiss you gently
A butterfly kiss
Glancing
Your lips
Soft

You murmur
And hold me tighter
Smile in your sleep
My lover
My wife
My life

I hold you tighter
Nuzzle into your neck
Feel your breath on my cheek
Rest my head
On your breasts
I am home




Whoosh

The feelings break over me
Dumping me to the floor
Knocking the breath from my lungs
Turning my brain into mush

The sound of your voice
Resonates with me still
Invading all my senses
Your voice in my ear
Lyrical

Crash
Go all my defences
Tumbling down in pieces
Leaving me raw and exposed
My heart a quivering mess

The thought of you
Fills my every waking moment
Invades my dreams
Your words repeating
Over and over again

Whisper
The dream of us
The idea of being joined
Softly
Gently
You offer yourself to me

My love for you is strong
My desire never sated
You intrigue me
You bewitch me
I am lost

Touch
Your soft skin
Your hair
Your heart
Your soul
Your all


You are mine
I am yours
We are one


Wishing for you

If wishes were real
I would be there with you
Holding you close
Telling you how much
I love you

If dreams were real
We would never be apart
Each night I would lie next to you
And whisper in your ear
I love you

Our love is real
Strong and deep
Each for the other
A bond that will
Never be broken

Our desire is real
Hot and sexy
With a mind of its own
Taking our breath away
Melting our senses

If wanting something
So badly it hurts
Made it happen
We would never be apart
Again

My need for you is real
And loving
And endless
And grows
Stronger every minute

My love for you is real
And will never cease
Even when you are with me
Every night I will still whisper in your ear
I love you